Coach Michele Jenkins

I’m reading one of my favorite leadership books right now. Courage, the Backbone of Leadership, by Gus Lee. Although it is uncomfortable at times, because he’s constantly reminding me that there are only 3 top values (Courage, Character and Integrity), I know that focusing on those 3 areas will help every aspect of my life.
While reading it, I have been discovering how much I worry about making the great choices for myself. I wouldn’t say I’m a people pleaser, but I would say I get very nervous about letting people down or not following through the way I intended. The truth is, sometimes you have to make a tough choice if it’s for your own good. I remember in coaching classes learning how being fulfilled doesn’t necessarily mean being happy. For me, that means when I make a right choice it’s the best choice but it actually may not FEEL good at the time. I’m a big fan of the Secret movie, but one thing I have to disagree with is that you should always feel good.
Feeling in your gut that you need to do something and not doing it, that doesn’t feel good. I advocate that you change that quickly. But if it feels good to stay in the same spot when you need to move, if you know you need to move but you are afraid it won’t feel good, you better move anyway!
Leaders are made, not born. Are you a leader in your life? Do you take charge with courage, character and integrity and do what you KNOW you need to do without letting the worry of what other people think suck you in? What values do you hold highest, and why?

I love this email I received today from Philosophers Notes.
The Big Idea — The Reality of Your Life
“People talk about the reality of their life as if it is important. And we want you to understand, it’s only the temporary indicator. Do you go to the gas station-your gas gauge is on empty-do you go to the gas station and look at your gas gauge in horror? “How did this happen? [Fun] Why, why, why did this happen to me?” Do you lay your head on the steering wheel and just sob? “Oh, look what it’s come to. [Fun] I’m finished. I’ve lived all of this life, and look where I am.” Or do you just fill up.”
~ Esther & Jerry Hicks from Money, and the Law of Attraction
That’s classic.
So, your life is either PHENOMENAL right now or it might suck. In either case, it’s nothing (!!) more than a temporary indicator of how connected you are to source. EXACTLY like your gas gauge tells you whether you have a full tank or not, your life circumstances, and particularly your emotional well-being, tells you how full your God/Source tank is.
Now, you’d NEVER get pissy with your gas gauge for letting you know you’re running low on energy. So why in the world would you get upset with yourself when your emotional fuel gauge is letting you know you’re a little off? That’s not a god idea. Just FILL UP!:)
Meditate, dance, exercise, eat well, laugh, play, create, journal, read, smile, love, breathe deeply, pet your dog, think positive thoughts, imagine your ideal future with such intensity that you can FEEL it, do whatever you need to do to FILL UP. But don’t (pretty, please) look at your “gas” gauge in horror. No need to sob. Just fill up.

What can you do to fill up today? Be well, be blessed, be joyful!!!

With great joy,
Michele

By now no matter what part of the US you live in, I hope you have heard about the extent of the Nashville and surrounding areas flood damage.
Since I lived in Franklin, Bellevue, Hermitage for a number of years and my family is still in the Nashville area, as well as longtime friends, my heart is both breaking with compassion for them and filled with love and pride at how they are taking care of each other.

I want to invite you to take a look at some of these clips.

And I want to ask you to donate…..time, money, prayers, or all 3.

Time: www.hon.org
Money: www.graceworks.com, www.brentwoodbaptist.com, or individuals I can get you in touch with personally who need help.
Also, www.coolpeoplecare.org or www.nashvillefloodtees.com has great shirts for sale- 100% of proceeds go to flood victims.
Prayers: anytime.

And last, I would like to ask you to take the extra time to be grateful for what you have. I have come to appreciate hot showers, my own bed, my own car, and my own clothes much more.

I am from Tennessee, so often I would hear jokes about country music. Crazy love being lost, or beer being lost, or teeth being lost, or the rednecks at Fan Fare, or trailer trash, or being the bug on the windshield of life and other such insane titles.

But this week I have heard 3 songs that disgust me on mainstream radio.
Here are 3 clips:

Lyrics:
* “It’s a quarter after 1 and I’m a little drunk and I need you now. Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now. And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now. Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door. Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before. And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time.”

* “According To You I’m stupid, I’m useless, I can’t do anything right
According to you, I’m difficult, Hard to please, Forever changing my mind
I’m a mess in a dress, Can’t show up on time, Even if it would save my life
According to you, According to you

But according to him I’m beautiful, incredible
He can’t get me out of his head According to him
I’m funny,irresistible Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite I don’t feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose He’s into me for everything I’m not

* You Belong With Me Lyrics

You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, She’s upset,
She’s going off about Something that you said,
‘Cause she doesn’t get your humor Like I do.
I’m in my room, It’s a typical Tuesday night,
I’m listenin’ to the kind of music she doesn’t like,
And she’ll never know your story Like I do.

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts.
She’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers,
Dreamin’ ’bout the day When you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for Has been here the whole time.

All of these songs bug me because they are women who sound powerless.
Garbage in produces garbage out so if you are listening to this stuff, and remotely believe it, it’s being internalized. It’s going in your subconscious, and it’s framing what you believe you deserve in a relationship.

I’d encourage you to listen to music and cd’s that build you up and create joy rather than music that creates even more limited beliefs and unhealthy relationships. You may think a silly song on the radio makes no impact in your life, but if you take the time to listen to things that you intentionally and consciously choose, I think you will experience a difference.

This isn’t a political blog by any means but I’m reflecting on the healthcare bill and the concerns I have about it. Whether you are for or against the bill, these are a few things I’m thinking about:
1. The right and the responsibility to choose. Every person will be required to have health insurance. Should the government dictate this, or are we to be responsible for ourselves? Better yet, do we realize that we ARE in fact responsible for ourselves anyway? This is something that I am constantly seeing as a battle when I coach with people or in my friends and as a battle within myself and that is, do we understand that absolutely everything we do, is our choice? The choice may be ‘easily’ made to us, if for example, we have the choice to quit the job we hate, or stay at it to support our family. Most of the time we will choose the latter, but it is still a choice. We choose how much money we make. If we want to earn more, most of the time that requires that we learn more. We choose who we hang around, we choose what we eat, how much we sleep, and I believe we should choose our healthcare. Frankly, I think if we all ate a few more carrot sticks and broccoli and less processed foods and junk, we would rely less on disease healthcare and more on wellness lifestyle. The body has the ability to heal itself of just about anything.

2. The responsibility to be responsible for you. You can give a handout, or you can give a handup. You can give a man fish, or you can teach him to fish. I read a story about a cafe that has opened where you pay what you can, but you work for your food and drink -there! You wash their windows or clean their floors or their dishes or whatever needs done. Are we living in a society where people are working for what they need? I believe Jim Rohn was correct when he said we don’t get what we need, we get what we deserve.

3. The responsibility to love others as you love yourself. This brings me to where I feel conflicted, because I want to love people and have compassion when someone is down on their luck. I don’t want people to go without, and yet I want to be able to support my family and take care of myself and them. I don’t want to continue to get a larger tax bill so that I can essentially handout to those I don’t even know because we essentially have universal healthcare. To quote the Bible, 1 Timothy 5:8 says But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. I believe that most of the time people have talents and skills that go unused, and that the more complacent and ok we become with that, the more the creative energy will be sucked right out of you. If you don’t use it, you WILL lose it. Talent can be given, and talent can be taken away.

Whatever your views on the bill, I hope that you will take today to remember, what you choose to do with your one and only life, IS important. I believe that even if not rewarded right away, the fruits of your labor will not go unseen and unnoticed.

I was reading this article about the impact of social media on businesses.

http://brandstand.cohnmarketing.com/2010/03/honey-trumps-vinegar-how-social-media-is-changing-customer-service/

Which led me to also think about social media and its impact on friendships. I have noticed that I have said a few things on facebook that have caused me to get ‘unfriended’ at times. While it’s only a handful of people, it gets me curious. What was my responsibility for that, and what was the impact I had?

At times I think others got sensitive, or because they disagreed with me, they didn’t want to stay for the discussion. At other times I wonder what my words meant to the person, and how I could have said them better.

I know facebook has also been known and researched to cause marriage problems- either an abundant amount of time spent on it or an old flame shows upon the horizon. There’s also those who rekindle old love or find new love through social media.

There are also politicians, professional athletes, and jobseekers who have gotten into trouble for what they have facebooked or tweeted.

It’s amazing how viral forms of social media are. Before you post anything I encourage you to think about, what is the impact I’m having? If I am complaining, who are others seeing me as? If I am happy, or encouraging, how will that too, impact someone’s day?

Make it a great day everyone!

It has been a while since I’ve posted. I think sometimes I get an idea in my head, and if I’m not in front of a computer I let it go until later, and then I feel it’s lost its juice.
Anyway, I want to write more. I love getting my thoughts out on paper, so to speak. I have felt lately that I am unsure where I’m going in my coaching and in my career. It’s been interesting to be in the space of not knowing what I want when as a coach I strive to pull out of people what they want and have them go after it. I truly have felt that I needed a drastic change but was unsure what that looked like.
I spent 8 years in advertising sales pre-coaching certification and I’ve decided I want and need to get back to it. Something about being in sales was motivating to me, I felt driven, more energetic. Tomorrow I begin my journey as an account executive for Morris Visitor Publications. I plan to write more about this journey and tie it into who I am as a coach as well.
My goal is to motivate other sales professionals as well as people going through career misery, career transition, or career non-existence.
Career miseries= those of you who wake up and pull the covers over your head because you hate where you are so much.
Career transition- you are in one field but are interested in going somewhere else. You may or may not know what that ‘somewhere else’ looks like.
Career non-existence- you aren’t currently employed and you don’t know what you want. OR worse. You are in a JOB. (Just over broke). It’s leading you to nowhere, spiritually, financially, or emotionally.

Please stick with me through this process. Knowing there are people out there reading, motivates and inspires me to continue to hone my writing skills and make it really worth reading.

Blessings to you.

Michele

I asked on my Facebook on Feb 1, how everyone’s first month of 2010 went. I was fascinated by the answers, and it led me to think about how circumstances don’t have to determine attitude. I had people answer that the first month was great, or the first month wasn’t productive, or ‘could have been worse, could have been better’ or great until we got all this snow, etc etc. I remembered my own month when someone asked me how mine was, and the crappy attitude I had the day my car wouldn’t start and it had to be towed to get a starter put in it, and then the next day I had a fender bender. I let those setbacks determine my attitude for a bit, when in reality, things happen. Cars break down, accidents happen, weather gets bad, people in your life are difficult, you have a tough day at work, etc etc.
How do you take these circumstances, and still have a positive attitude?
Here’s a few things that popped in my head.

Be grateful. I don’t necessarily want to look at other people and say, oh wow, their life sucks worse, but I do want to look at what I have, my many blessings, and take the time to say – thank you. I want to say thank you even when things don’t go right or people annoy me. (thank you for the car that now runs, even though it also has duct tape on the fender. Thank you for the wonderful boyfriend I have, even if he’s driving me crazy. Thank you for the snow that waters the ground, even if it can be hard to get out and drive in.)

Laugh. The best person to laugh at is yourself. Be able to shake things off with a good belly laugh.

Know that circumstances change. Will what’s bothering you matter to you in a year, a month, a day, or even an hour? Will you remember the attitude you had during the circumstance being one you can be proud of?

I had a friend who had an interesting twist to this, he said “our attitude can often dictate our circumstances.” What are you attracting in your life with your attitude?
What’s one way to tweak your attitude that can make a difference in your outlook of life?

Enjoy your day everyone! I love your feedback. Feel free to share this blog if you like it as well.

Good morning, I hope you are enjoying your Wednesday. This morning I’m reflecting on some words of Jim Rohn. Jim passed away in December, and although I never met him, he has been a strong influence in my life.
Some tidbits that I learned from him, that show me how simple success can be if you just apply these truths: (paraphrased some by me)

Learn to be fascinated rather than frustrated. When you are stuck in traffic, be fascinated. When you are having a bad day with your spouse, be fascinated. When you can’t see how things are going to turn around, be fascinated. Fascination helps your mind open up, frustration shuts you down.

You want to be healthy? Start by eating an apple a day. A simple shift, adding something healthy to your diet, can be the baby step you need to keep at it.

The person who walks 30 minute a day will be one of the fittest people in the world.

Work harder on yourself than you do at your job.

How many books should you read? As many as you can! How many seminars should you go to? As many as you can!

If you don’t like how things are, change it. You aren’t a tree.

The value that you bring to the table is what you should be paid for, not your time. This has nothing to do with the value you have as a person, that is infinite. But the value you bring to the economic table is what you should be paid for.

Enjoy your day everyone!

I must admit, I’ve been procrastinating like crazy to start this blog. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to write. I think about it when I don’t do it, like a piece of me is missing. But I’ve had this limited belief of “No one cares what I write.” Or “they can hear my message from someone else.” Or “I will offend someone so I must watch what I say.” And they call ME a life coach The truth is, we ALL struggle with limited beliefs. There comes a day when you have to stop relying on those beliefs to freeze in action. It took me all of 30 minutes and 20 bucks to create this site. I’ve thought about it for years and have JUST now done it. So my challenge for you, is that today can be YOUR Day. What have you been putting off because of some belief you have that you won’t be good enough at it, or people won’t care about it, or you will be rejected, or you will lose money, or you will lose friends, etc etc etc.

I believe sometimes there is joy in limited beliefs, because you can stay exactly where you are, doing exactly what you have been doing, and be comfortable at it. It takes energy and focus to change. As Mark Twain says, nobody but a wet baby likes change. But to live life and build a legacy, I believe you have to. 

This blog will be about like me, all over the place at times. I have so many interests and things that pop into my head, this is a stomping ground to write it out. I can’t wait to interact with you on here, and I hope you will take the time to comment with what’s on your mind. 

I am committed to posting a blog several times a week, so if something doesn’t tickle your fancy one day, check back again. You never know when something will resonate with you.

Enjoy your day,

Michele